Housewife to Dominatrix Update

In a prior blog post, I wrote about my current progress on my latest novel Housewife to Dominatrix. I gave a rough estimate of it being released in one month and having a word count of around 80k words. Well, here we are three weeks later and I just finished the draft at 120K words. (This is why I hate giving out dates) Therefore, I’m going to need five to eight weeks more to edit and so forth.

While this is my longest story, I really don’t feel it’s too long. It tells the story of a husband and wife who make the transition to sub and domme respectively, so there needed to be adequate time given to make that development real. What I didn’t want is to truncate the story by having the wife discover her inner domme and go from docile housewife to swinging a single tail with the proficiency of a pro domme all in the same chapter. I realize all erotica, femdom included, is a bit of a stretch, but I prefer my stories to have some semblance of reality so my readers can put themselves in the sub or domme’s position.

Mistress Lin from Claiming the CEO has taken on a much more prominent role in the story than I previously thought. I’ve incorporated her in a way that if you haven’t read Claiming the CEO you won’t be missing out on anything, but if you have, there’s a few Easter eggs to enjoy. This latest book actually occurs several years before Claiming the CEO.

I thought about breaking this one into two books, but there really isn’t a solid spot to do it. I’m not a fan of writers taking an otherwise complete novel and chopping it into two or three works. This was done a lot when Amazon paid Kindle Unlimited borrows based on a flat amount rather than pages read. (This has since been changed.)  Writers had an incentive to chop up their books to increase the amount of royalties they received. I understand serialization where there are complete story arcs in each series done in a similar fashion to a TV show. What I’m talking about are cohesive stories with one arc divided at cliffhanger points. In these instances, the reader started off thinking they were buying a story for $2.99 only to find that it was going to cost them several times that in order to finish a story they had already started. Call me crazy, but I think this is a fantastic way of pissing off fans and alienating them, so it’s one I’ve avoided.

Anyway, enough babbling by me. Time to get back to the story. I’m going to take my time editing this one to make sure it’s done right while working as fast as I can to get this out to you guys.

Dan Savage Bender

Recently I got into one of my Dan Savage binges. I’m a big fan of his sassy wit and straight talk. So many sex columnists strike me as prudes who either hate sex or haven’t gotten laid in the last decade. They’re quick to jump on the anti-porn hysteria bandwagon, I imagine, to appeal to their mostly female audience despite any substantive scientific evidence showing harm. The same kind of pandering can be found on any daytime talk show. Does cross-dressing or fantasies of cuckolding make your man a perv beyond redemption? Absolutely. Or so says Dr. Phil to his estrogen-cheering crowd.

Thankfully, not all get their puritanical ruffles in a bunch. Even when a caller asked Dan about an obscure sex position involving sticking her husband’s testicles in her ass while getting fucked, Dan calmly explained that you first wanted to get the man’s balls in her ass before trying anything more difficult. I’m still trying to imagine how this first step works, but I’m just not able to visualize it.

Most of these questions are hilarious, and I often follow my partner around the house reading them aloud. After about two weeks of this, he’s had enough Dan Savage for the year.

However, a few stories are heartbreaking. A young female caller left a sobbing message relating her recent experience of coming out to her parents. As you can probably guess, it didn’t go well. The young woman was so distraught that she was contemplating suicide.

I grew up in a high school with little acceptance, so I have somewhat of an idea of what she’s facing. No one came out in my school, and it was actually believed that everyone in our class of more than 200 students was straight. I know how naive that sounds for 2015, but in a small town, we simply didn’t know better.

This was in the early days of the internet when Napster was all the rage and a three minute song took an hour to download. What people thought and believed was heavily sculpted by one’s immediate surroundings. After high school and college, more than a few of my friends came out. One of them landed a role on Broadway (I know, know. Totally stereotypical.) I looked him up to see some of his performances and found a video in which he discussed his adolescence. He talked about how difficult it was being a closeted homosexual. I remembered the taunts he received, and how quickly he was dismissed as being weird and girly. Well, the weird, girly kid is now on Broadway, full of confidence and looks manly enough that I’m sure he has to beat back the boys.

During high school, I was struggling with my own sexual interests. When I was a teenager, I thought everyone was into BDSM (a term I didn’t yet know). After briefly bringing it up in casual conversation with friends, I learned to keep those interests to myself. Until I was in my mid 20s, I never spoke of those fetishes again, not even telling those I dated.

Thankfully, there’s more resources and information for people to learn about their sexuality. The internet has provided a unique place where people can come together in an anonymous setting and ask the question, “Am I weird?”

And the answer: maybe. If so, welcome to the club. I’m weird and so is my friend on Broadway. We’re weird people living our lives honestly. Unlike the vast majority of married people, my partner knows all my fetishes. This took time and it wasn’t something done on the first or second or even twentieth date.

Unfortunately, there’s always those who will want you to stay quiet, to keep your weirdness to yourself, and to label you with the latest pop psych diagnosis. Often, these are the same people struggling to make sense of their own weirdness or those looking to make a quick buck off ignorance. Or maybe they just never got the memo that as long as there’s consent and it isn’t harming others, it’s okay to be weird.

Ruined Orgasm Training

I’ll admit it. I love ruined orgasms. It’s one I can rarely avoid exploring in my writing. I don’t know how many of my readers have experienced a ruined orgasm, but I thought I’d offer a quick guide on the techniques and terms associated with this particular fetish.

What is it?

While a ruined orgasm may incorporate tease and denial, the two are not the same. In tease and denial, the male sub is commonly brought to the edge before all stimulation is stopped. The male doesn’t come. End of story. Ruined orgasms go further by allowing semen to be released without allowing a proper orgasm. This can be anything from one drop of semen or multiple ruined orgasms that completely drain the sub.

The important aspect to remember with all of these techniques is that stimulation must be stopped when the man begins having contractions. Semen leaving the body alone will not cause an orgasm. Orgasms occur because of stimulation to the penis during the period of contractions before and during ejaculation.

Partially Ruined vs. Completely Ruined

Before discussing the techniques, let’s make sure we’re all talking about the same thing when I say ruined orgasm.

Beginners will often masturbate the slave until the first shot of cum is expelled before ceasing stimulation. In my opinion, this is a partially ruined orgasm rather than a truly ruined one. As explained above, an orgasm begins before semen is released. If you’re masturbating your partner or yourself up until the point at which semen is coming out, you’ve probably gone too far. Most of the orgasm will be defeated, but a partial orgasm will still occur.

Before an orgasm begins, there is the so-called point of no return. This is the moment where any additional stimulation will result in contractions and semen being released. Continuing stimulation at this point will result in orgasmic feelings. The trick is to stop during the small window after the point of no return but before an orgasm begins. Therefore, timing is crucial for a proper ruined orgasm.

Below are several methods to use.

Abandonment

This is the most common type of ruined orgasm. All you have to do is stroke until the point of no return and then let go. Most of the time, not all of the semen is released unless several more strokes are given. While this can be done, realize that every additional stroke risks causing a partial orgasm.

If done correctly, semen squirts or dribbles out sans orgasm. I think this method is best for a long and frustrating tease and denial session where the sub doesn’t know if he’s going to come or not. When he sees that you’re going all the way, he expects to have an Earth-shattering orgasm. The numbing reality of a ruined orgasm can leave him stunned and defeated. Perfect for training your sub to never underestimate your ability to surprise him. An unexpected ruined orgasm will have him wondering whether he’ll really be coming the next time around.

Bleeding

This is my favorite form of ruined orgasms. It’s very similar to abandonment except it causes only a few drops of semen to be released at a time. This technique takes a lot of practice and understanding of the different signs for when your sub is approaching the point of no return.

The trick to this method is to ease back from stimulating the sub’s member as he nears an orgasm. I usually go from using an entire hand all the way down to one finger lightly touching to keep the sub on edge. I use that one finger to draw out a tiny amount of semen and watch the penis bob up and down (a feather is also great to use), halting all stimulation until the contractions pass. I then test the penis with one finger and slowly return my entire hand. I try to avoid the glans, focusing on the less sensitive shaft skin. If done long enough, the penis can be bleed by only rubbing the inner thighs.

Trust me when I say you haven’t experienced tease and denial until you’ve experienced this level of desperation. When I first met my sub, he was a self-proclaimed delayed ejaculator, i.e., he took a long fucking time to come. Watching his ass squirm as I leaked his seed with only my nails raking his inner thighs was a sight to behold.

After the contractions cease, the sub is stimulated again. This is repeated over and over until the sub has been completely drained. This can be concluded by stroking to a dry, unsatisfying orgasm. Subs describe this as a sore, burning sensation that is quite unpleasant. I love this method so much because the sub can literally be kept on the edge of an orgasm for the better part of an hour or longer.

Afterwards, the sub has no choice except to wait until his little gonads have reproduced enough semen for a proper orgasm. This can be great fun to incorporate with chastity. He’ll still be horny as ever and ready to serve you in any way you see fit.

Thumbing/Blockage

For this method, the thumb or another foreign object blocks semen from escaping the urethra, causing a painful retrograde ejaculation. If you’ve experimented with urethral sounds, you’re probably somewhat familiar with what this feels like. You can stroke normally while keeping a firm finger or a plug capping the semen’s egress.

As he tries to come, the semen is recycled back into the body, allowing the process to be repeated. There are concerns this can cause health problems if done often, so approach this at your own risk. Personally, I can attest to knowing individuals who have been practicing thumbing for years with no adverse effects, though such experiences are purely anecdotal.

Blocking the urethra with your finger can be difficult. The penis will contract and semen shoots out with surprising pressure. A tight seal has to be formed to hold it all in. If you’re looking to use your fingers, the thumb works best for this while keeping a firm grip of the head. If you’re interested in using a foreign object, I would advise against Q-tips. They should never be used for insertion. Pick up a penis plug or a sound. They’re quite affordable and much safer.

Slapping or “thwacking”

If you enjoy CBT with ruined orgasms, you’ll like this one. It’s basically an abandoned ruined orgasm with one small catch. Immediately after stimulation is stopped, the frenulum on the underside of the head is slapped hard. If timed correctly, this will cause semen to dribble out.

It’s best to have the sub tied up for this one. Also, you might want to tie down his member so that it won’t be moving when you’re ready to give it a whack.

Squeezing/Spanking the Genitals

This can be a very painful method. If the squeezing is done hard enough, most, if not all, of the semen is prevented from escaping. For men who are true pain sluts, spanking the balls alone can cause ejaculation. Some women will also choose to continuing stroking the sub while spanking or squeezing the genitals to create a mix of CBT with an orgasm.

Squeezing or spanking the balls can be a good method to spring on the sub unexpectedly. Just be sure to have him tied down when doing it. The look on his face as you clamp down on his genitals at the point of no return is priceless.

Squeezing the Shaft

Another CBT-variant of a ruined orgasm. After the point of no return, the shaft of the cock is squeezed, preventing semen from shooting out in a forceful manner. Unlike plugging the opening of the urethra, semen will be expelled. This method destroys most of the orgasm and can cause a very alien-like sensation in its place. The same risks apply to this method as plugging so proceed with caution.

This one can take a little practice. You want to squeeze hard enough to stop the propulsion of semen without causing damage. I think this one is best enjoyed by the domme because it allows her to feel the force of the semen being stopped and the contractions of the ruined orgasm, offering her a very empowering experience. It can also be quite a mind fuck for the sub. By having his mistress’ hand on his member, he knows that even the slightest movement will give him an orgasm. He’s so close and yet so far away. Squeezing his shaft will also cause his head to swell in frustration as those milky tears leak out.

Gonad Stimulation

After a prolonged period of tease and denial, rubbing the testicles can send the sub over the edge. A Hitachi Magic Wand works great for this method. For best results, I would advise having the testicles tied so that they protrude and are pressed together. This will allow the vibrations to run through both balls more easily. A chastity device can also be incorporated. The metal or plastic frame of a chastity device will send the vibrations through the shaft, stimulating it to a very weak and frustrating orgasm. This is a great method for the chastity slave who’s complaining about having full balls. And what’s even better is that the slave doesn’t need to have his chastity device removed!

As a side note, this is why I believe that every chastity slave, no matter how great the device may be, is on an honor system. You can read my prior post THE PROBLEM WITH CHASTITY BELTS to learn more about the realities and limitations of chastity devices and belts.

One trick I’ve learned is to use a dimmer switch with the Hitachi Magic Wand. The two settings of the Hitachi Magic Wand are often too strong, causing more numbness than excitement. With a dimmer switch, you can find that perfect setting to make your sub to explode. Dimmer switches are also super cheap and easy to use. Definitely pick one up no matter how you’re planning to use a Hitachi Magic Wand.

Prostate Milking

Any long-term chastity slave will be familiar with prostate milking. Technically, I suppose prostate milking is a ruined orgasm, so I thought I’d include it in this list. Prostate milking is the stimulation of the man’s prostate until semen is released. While prostate massages can produce intense orgasms when accompanied with rubbing the penis, I’m going to only discuss the ruined variety.

While fingers can be used to knead the prostate, prostate massagers are often helpful for beginners. Everyone has their preference, so it’s good to experiment in order to see what works for you and your partner. A bent over position usually works best to provide easy access to the prostate.

For most men, the prostate is located about 1.5 inches inside the anus and is roughly the size of a walnut. When you find it, the sub should feel a buzzing sensation. Because the bladder is right next to the prostate, your sub may feel like he has to pee. If this does occur, massage more gently. You’re probably rubbing too hard and pushing the prostate against the bladder. See below on the risks associated with an overly aggressive prostate massage.

The easiest way to milk the prostate is to stroke the head and shaft while rubbing the prostate with a massager or your fingers. You’ll need to do this for a while so be in a comfortable spot. If you’re stroking, milking can take only about ten minutes, but if you’re only massaging the prostate, this can take up to an hour to complete and usually only works if the sub hasn’t ejaculated in about a week.

For those stroking the penis while massaging, when the prostate begins to harden and push against the massager/fingers, stop all stimulation to the penis (continue massaging the prostate, though). This means the prostate is contracting and the release of semen is imminent. If you’re looking to avoid all contact with the penis and testicles to ensure the least amount of pleasure, I suggest massaging the perineum (that’s the dark area between the testicles and anus) while stimulating the prostate.

I want to give an upfront warning about prostate massaging. It should be done so gently. Do not–I repeat–DO NOT massage vigorously. Doing so is potentially life threatening. See below from the Prostatitis Network. I encourage you to click the link and read the entire article. I’ve included what I believe is the most important section.

However, vigorous prostatic massage may be very dangerous:

  1. If you have acute bacterial prostatitis it can result in septicemia (blood poisoning).
  2. If you have the beginnings of a carcinoma in your prostate, it could conceivably result in the cancer being disturbed, broken up and metastasizing (spreading) around your body.
  3. It can result in prostatic calculi (little prostate stones made of calcium, if you have them, and they are quite common) tearing the delicate membranes in the prostate, exacerbating your CP/CPPS.
  4. There is a chance of perforation of the very thin rectal lining adjacent to the prostate, or tearing the rectal lining with a fingernail or implement.
  5. It may cause a hemorrhoid flare-up.

In the case of #5, a man almost died, so please take what’s being discussed seriously. If you notice any blood during a prostate massage, stop immediately. Always remember to follow safe, sane, and consensual.

Conclusion

Following a ruined orgasm, the sub is still just as aroused as before. The usual sexual relief offered by an orgasm is avoided by a ruined one. If you’ve ever worked with a male sub, you know how easily an orgasm can destroy his submissive tendencies. Not so with a ruined orgasm. Even if he decides to masturbate, if properly drained, nothing will happen until he waits for his semen to be replaced. Men often say it feels like their vitality has been drained without their submission being weakened.

Until the next time you decide to let him come, he should fill his time with more important activities like going down on his mistress

I hope you found this short guide helpful. There’s probably a million different ways to ruin an orgasm. Use your imagination and I’m sure you’ll have fun. Not letting your sub know if or what kind of ruined orgasm he’s going to be experiencing can also create a kinky experience. Let me know if you have any additional methods. I’m always looking for new things to try.

Where’s the Dynamic Domme?

Putting character archetypes aside, there are two types of characters at the most basic level: static and dynamic. The static character has little deviation throughout the story while the dynamic character undergoes a journey that dramatically changes them. An example of this is in The Wizard of OZ. Dorothy starts out in search of the perfect place. She realizes by the end of the story that what she needs to be happy is already in her possession. The Wicked Witch of the West doesn’t change. She remains static throughout the story in order to provide Dorothy and the rest of her gang with an important lesson in life.

I bring this up because I’ve noticed that almost all femdom erotica presents the dynamic submissive and static domme. Actually, this is probably true for almost all BDSM works regardless of which gender is doing the submitting or dominating. I’ve been guilty of this myself. Looking back on my stories, all of them feature dynamic submissive men and static dominant women. And yes, there is personal insight and growth by the dommes in my stories. But I’m talking about true change that shows a regular girl discovering the alpha female inside of her. I know such stories exist, but in my own readings of the genre, they are very rare.

So why is this? Do we honestly think that dominant women crawled out of the womb spanking the doctor instead of the other way around?

There may be no definitive answers, but about a month ago, I started work on Housewife to Dominatrix, which follows a docile housewife who is forced to take a job as a dominatrix after her husband is laid off and can’t find work. Both Claire and her husband are dynamic characters in this story. Now that I’m 50k words into the story, I have a few possible reasons as to why the static domme is so common.

There’s the popular belief that submissive men want to view the domme as an enigmatic woman of supernatural confidence and that pulling back the covers to reveal the real person behind the faux leather and latex ruins his fantasy. Borrowing from colloquial British vernacular, I think this is mostly rubbish. If done correctly, uncovering the complexities of a domme adds to her allure.

Claire, the story’s protagonist, lives in the heart of conservative America with God-fearing families where men work and women stay at home. I know this setting well. I grew up in a small town in Kentucky where loving female authority and matriarchy constructs were either non-existent or hidden. I know how strong a person has to be to overcome that cognitive dissonance. I hope by the end of the story, I’ve shown that Claire is anything but the docile housewife. She faces prejudice, her husband’s resistances, sexual mores, and her own identity crisis.

To assume a dominatrix is born a domme may be sexy, but it’s also kind of cheap. Imagine saying a slave who submits wholly to his mistress did so without years of dedication and hard work or personal insight. That’s the fast food, supersized, have-it-your-way variety of BDSM. The truth about submission and domination is that it requires an incredible level of trust and effort from all parties involved. There are setbacks, mistakes, and frustrations. It’s why real life stories of long-term BDSM relationships are so exceedingly rare. If you think a traditional marriage is tough, try one based on power exchange.

Without giving too much more away, I’ll let you be the judge of how well I’ve done when the book comes out. I hate giving dates, but I’ll say a month from now as rough estimate. I’m thinking this story has another 30K words to go.

I do want to reveal this: Mistress Lin and Peter Schmidt from Claiming the CEO will make an appearance. Housewife to Dominatrix occurs several years before Claiming the CEO, and in it we get to see how the world-renowned Mistress Lin first met Peter Schmidt. I have lots of plans to explore these characters further. Rose, the head domme in Housewife to Dominatrix and the woman who acts as Claire’s guide, has her own journey to share from growing up in a trailer park to running the hottest BDSM club in the city. I briefly discuss this in Housewife to Dominatrix, but I’ve realized that it’s a book on its own.

I’ll keep you guys up to date as I continue writing. As always, thanks for all of your support.

Sale Starting Next Week!

homewrecker3 MILF for Xmas - High Resolution (1)

Starting this Monday, October 19 at 8:00 AM PST to Midnight on the following Sunday on the 25th, I will be having a sale. Both Homewrecker and A MILF for Xmas will be on sale for $.99. That’s 67% off the normal price, so if you’re a fan and you haven’t snatched these up or you’d like to get a taste of my writing for only a buck, now the time.

Please note, this is for the US store only. If you’re outside the US, from what I’ve heard, you can create a US account and take advantage of the deal.

Pegged by the Officer Live!

Pegged (5)

Hey, everyone! If you aren’t on my mailing list, just wanted to let you know that my next story Pegged by the Officer has gone live on Amazon and is available for $2.99. It’s femdom erotica in a horror style. Just as a warning, this one is more hardcore than say, Room 407. I think it’s best comparable to Alternative Therapy. There’s a good rich story surrounding the characters that I think you’ll enjoy. I’m not a big fan of femdom that only has a hot chick demanding she be referred to as mistress before unleashing a furry of nonstop sadism, so I try to give you more than just a series of fetishes. Product description below.

Clyde and his buddies may think they can cruise a Texas roadways smokin’ dope and playing that hippy music, but this ain’t Woodstock. Officer Sinclair is out in force, looking to bust naughty college students who think drugs are cool. Finding fifty pounds of Mexico’s finest, she’s taking these potheads downtown where they can learn an important lesson about authority. These boys are about to find out that everything really is bigger in Texas—even the strap-ons.

17,000 words of hardcore female domination. Fetishes: Caning, CBT, Feminization, Strap-on. Yeah, that means adults only.

Next Week’s Release

I’m working hard to get Pegged by the Officer out by the next week. Right now it’s being edited. As soon as I get it back, I’ll make a couple of passes through it again and publish the sucker. My eleven-month-old son got sick this week, so now everyone in the house is sick too. It’s slowing me down a little bit, but I got a few thousand words out today on the next book Housewife to Dominatrix. I’m about 11k words in. I’m thinking it’s going to be at least 50k or 60k words.

Here’s the cover and book description for Pegged by the Officer. Hope you guys like it.

Pegged (5)

Clyde and his buddies may think they can cruise a Texas highway smokin’ dope and playing that hippy music, but this ain’t Woodstock. Officer Sinclair is out in force, looking to bust naughty college students who think drugs are cool. Finding fifty pounds of Mexico’s finest, she’s taking these potheads downtown where they can learn an important lesson about authority. These boys are about to find out that everything really is bigger in Texas—even the strap-ons.

17,000 words of hardcore female domination. Fetishes: Caning, CBT, Feminization, Strap-on. Yeah, that means adults only.